Thinking
by The-Normal-Twit
Summary: Courtney thinks about What she has done wrong on total drama, she remembers the first time when her and Duncan got together, kissed and more.


**Disclaimer: I don't Own total drama**

**Thinking  
**

* * *

Courtney sobbed, tears trailed down her face, her eyes were firmly shut, her face was dripping with snot, she mumbled some words which were hard to make out. "Why" she asked herself, "Why did i act so bossy, because my parents didn't want their daughter to be such an embarrassment after last season, I have so many regrets!" she yelled.

Courtney reached into her pocket, getting out a skull, she smiled at it, it was the skull Duncan gave her before she was voted out, she clenched it tight in her fists, stood up, wiped her tears and she got a small mirror out of her pocket, bringing up to her face.

She looked at her self, her hair was messed up and out of place, her eyes were blood-shot red, snot was traveling at a fast speed down her face, she looked like a mess, as she tried to clean her snot up, Courtney's grip loosened on the mirror, she soon realized it was falling to the floor, but it was too late, Courtney's mirror had fell to the floor.

Courtney gasped, screaming, before tears returned to her eyes and streamed down her mocha skinned face, normally Courtney wasn't superstitious, but at the moment she wasn't thinking straight, "I broke the mirror, I'll get bad luck and Duncan and Gwen will be laughing at me when I fall out of the plane today" Courtney couldn't take it anymore, her legs trembled, she fell to the ground, looking at the mirror.

She saw a reflection, "W-Who are you and how did you get in the broken mirror pieces" Courtney said, shocked, as she saw two reflections of herself's in the mirror, "I'm the old Courtney" she said, "What!" said the real Courtney, "Lies, all Lies!" Courtney pressed her hands against her ears, resiting to listen.

Courtney shook her head, breathing deeply and counting to ten, "I'm not going crazy, I'm not going crazy" she whispered to herself, she unclenched her fist, she saw the skull, broken, just like her heart was, she suddenly felt the rage burn up inside her, aching to come out.

Courtney growled, throwing the skull far away from her, "I don't need them!" Courtney yelled, standing up, "They can pretend their all happy, but Duncan never showed any remorse for cheating on me!" Courtney gasped, "I blaimed Gwen, when it was Duncan's fault, if he had broken up with me before he kissed Gwen, it would be Okay!"

Courtney suddenly realized all the mistakes she had made, "I had made so many mistakes in life like auditioning to be on total drama, yelling at everyone and getting on there nerves and-" "Wait!" she said, her face glowered, "It's the reason I all alone" Courtney muttered to herself, she sat down on the cold hard economy class floor, every other contestant was else where, avoiding her.

_"favoritism" _she thought_, that's what broke me and Duncan up, I admit I loved him, but Gwen and Duncan always had loved each-others favorite interests, they were bound to get together, I mean I only nag when I'm sad and desperate to keep someone. I wouldn't give Duncan a 32 paged letter if I wasn't sad or desperate to keep him at the time, you see, I have a very different way of showing my feelings. _

Courtney had her mouth wide open, "Am I really that a bad person?" she asked herself, had the show changed her completely had she lost the old, joyous, happy, Courtney after the 1 first episode, she had, she knew that herself, and she normally wondered why people would avoid her._  
_

"If I do have any fans, or haters, stop, you cannot favorite a couple, you shouldn't, equality, remember, treating everyone, and everything equally and that is something all the people on total drama could never do" Courtney said to the camera she sniffed, crouching down and putting her head in her hands, groaning.

Courtney looked at the skull she thrown away from her earlier out of anger, she suddenly felt one memory flashing back into her mind..

_"get off of me!" Courtney demanded, Chris and Chef smiled, before chucking Courtney onto the boat of losers, "Courtney, wait! I made this for you!" yelled Duncan, Courtney stood up happily, and caught the tiny object that Duncan had made her, Duncan! (__she sees that it's a wooden skull)_ Okay, this is really weird and creepy, but I love it! _(she waves goodbye to Duncan)_ I'll never forget you! 

Courtney laughed at the memory, suddenly another memory flashed in her mind, _"So the princess has a dark side." Duncan smirked, "Okay... that was so gross. But it was like... once I did something __bad_, it was so much fun, I just wanted more!" Courtney clasped her hands together, Duncan smirked as he said, Well, you could always give me that kiss. That'd be pretty bad." she smiles at him and ruffles his hair, while saying, "You're still not my type."

_"Fine. Enjoy a peanut butter-less life." Duncan said, sighing.  
_

_"Fine. Enjoy prison" Courtney answers in the same tone, "I will" Duncan says, his face nears to Courtney and he feels his lips collide with hers, he is surprised at how fierce she is and his eyes are wide open.  
_

Courtney looked at her watch, it was almost time for the elimination ceremony, "time to put the mask on again" Courtney muttered to herself as she stood up, she suddenly heard foot-steps she gasped, wondering who it could be, "No, No, no, it Can't be" Courtney said, recognizing the silhouette.


End file.
